We live in duplicitous times, and nothing is more duplicitous than the rhetoric of the Republican Party. Simply put, what the Republicans say is not what they mean, and you need a dictionary to comprehend what they mean. Thus was created The Real Republican Dictionary, a work that offers understanding and clarity of “Republican English.” Featuring almost two hundred definitions, numerous illustrations, as well a revised Bill of Rights, altered to more accurately reflect the current political climate, it is our hope that this dictionary will establish an alternate reality to Republican rhetoric, a reality that those in the reality-based community like to call “the truth.”

Robert Lasner is the author of the underground cult classic For Fucks Sake. This is his first dictionary.